Manifesting... It Really Works!

Manifesting is a powerful tool. I have always gotten what I wanted my entire life, and my family has always commented that "what I want, I get". I never knew it as manifesting, just rather I put my mind too it and it got done. It took my eight years to finish my Undergrad (which I used to be very embarrassed about), but I found the means and got it done. I wanted a job in Arlington and found this great company, but they wouldn't interview me because I didn't have a degree. I put my mind to it and I still work there five years later. I wanted to become a yoga teacher at the studio I practiced at; I went through teacher training and ended up teaching at the studio before I finished my training. And so on. Only recently, did I realize that I had been manifesting all of those things in my life. Why just recently? Well, after I got on the schedule at my yoga studio teaching three classes a week, I also still worked at my full time job, worked on my small business as an Arbonne consultant and started another small business, continued planning my April wedding, and so on. I was not creating space for myself or time with my fiance and things were getting a bit rough at home. Lots of moodiness going on. A few weeks ago I was traveling for work and on the plane I wrote down affirmations. Things like "I love to work out", "I love to eat salad", "I have joy in my life", "I am a powerful yoga teacher", I am an Arbonne selling machine", and so forth. After filling two pages I started thinking about my life and how I was missing joy, I flipped the page and wrote "What can I give up?" I wrote down all of the things I currently do and stared at the page. I knew something needed to go. I was not happy; I was stressed; yoga was no longer fun; I lost connections with my fiance, family and friends. As I stared at the paper I realized I didn't want to give up anything, but by keeping all of those things I was actually giving up a lot.

So, jump forward a week, I ended up having a meeting with the Yoga teaching staff at the studio and was given feedback about my teaching. I was not present in my teaching, I was not authentic, and mostly, I had no joy. I had to take a break from teaching. I was devastated. Teaching yoga was the last thing I wanted to give up! It took me a couple of weeks and a roller coaster of emotions to realize that giving up teaching yoga was exactly what I needed.

I still remember vividly sitting on the plane staring at my journal and the words "what can I give up?". Well, the universe decided for me. I had manifested exactly what I needed.

So it's been just over a month since I stopped teaching. I am active on the sub list and have subbed a few classes here and there and boy what a difference. Teaching is fun! To be honest, I don't think teaching was ever fun for me before I got off the schedule, it was something I needed to accomplish and nothing would get in my way. (Except for myself!). I was so worried about looking good and being the best, that I never stopped to think about having joy in my life.

Not teaching has allowed me to come back to where it all started... my mat. I am trying to get into the studio more to practice, but I am not beating myself up if I don't. I am back in the kitchen (This is Yogini's Kitchen after all). I am working out. I am spending time with my adorable puppy Cooper, I am reconnecting and making new friends. And most importantly, I am making time for my fiance. I am still super busy, but I am acknowledging when my plate is too full and start to back off.

 Another one of the stresses lately has been my wedding that is quickly coming (five more months!!). Not just the planning, but also the fear of marriage. My parents are divorced. I know marriage is not easy. I have created this fear that marriage is hard. Tonight I was cooking up a storm, and as usual I was too tired to do the dishes. Jeremy dislikes me cooking because of the giant mess I usually create, and tonight was no exception. I was about to go to bed, when I realized marriage is about compromise, connection, and love. So, I went back to the kitchen and made it through all of the dishes. While I was doing the dishes I started thinking about manifesting and where I have gotten (and how I was proud of myself for actually doing the dishes), which inspired me to write tonight. Then, something hit me. If I keep holding onto this fear, and with my awesome ability to get what I put my mind to, then won't I be setting myself up for failure? So, marriage is not hard. It only seems hard. Yes, I know I am not officially married yet and any married couple may argue with me about this. I am going to keep my "seems" perspective instead of "it is". I am going to drop the fear and refocus my energy on compromise, connection, love and joy. I just hope manifesting still works for me since I finally figured out what I was doing ;-)

Namaste

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